I'm a Pre-service Firefighter. I'm also a Mom, and a wife.
I want you to know that I appreciate you opening up and sharing the impact this has had on you. In all my training I try my best to imagine the training scenarios as "real." I try to imagine how everyone around might be reacting to the incident, including myself. There are a lot of differences (obviously) between training and the REAL DEAL. What always sticks out in my mind is that in training, we always win. Unfortunately, with the REAL DEAL, that isn't always the case. Truthfully I believe that there is nothing that can fully prepare a person to accept the darker side of Firefighting. We are human, after all.
Listening to you, others like you and seeing the SUPPORT that is offered from your brother Firefighters - really is the closest I can come to preparing myself for accepting the inevitable losses. So, thank you for sharing your expirience. It is helpful for you to talk about it, as the guys have mentioned, but ALSO helpful for others to hear about it.
Virtually all activities in life entail some level of risk, and we all have different attitudes toward risk. At one end of the scale is refusing to engage in an activity by exaggerating the level of risk involved. At the other end is engaging in very risky activities while refusing to take any precautions. Neither of these attitudes are useful for living an empowered life. What is useful is to accurately assess the risks, take those precautions that make sense, and live as fully as possible.
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