By request

Did you hear the one about...
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five_alarm
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Joined: Mon Jun 23, 2003 3:00 pm

By request

Postby five_alarm » Tue Nov 09, 2004 12:08 pm

Brought to you live, direct from parts unknown, at great expense to us, and no thought to personal safety, the new and amazing Jokes area. Warning, we are not responsible for split guts or slapped knees.

There will be a certain amount of latitude given in this area as to what is considered "good taste". We ask that you keep an open mind, not too open though "gray matter stains". DOOOHHH

There is one rule , if we find it offensive it's gone.

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bestcoast
Posts: 2575
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:33 pm

Postby bestcoast » Tue Nov 09, 2004 9:39 pm

How can you tell when a Firefighter is at a party????

He'll tell you!!!! :eek: :D :eek: :D ;)

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FireEMTGuy
Posts: 367
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Postby FireEMTGuy » Tue Nov 09, 2004 9:51 pm

haha! :D

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colin911
Posts: 631
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Postby colin911 » Tue Nov 09, 2004 11:13 pm

Here's another one along the same line ...


Q. How does the bartender know you are a firefighter???


A. You've told her 10 times.

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bestcoast
Posts: 2575
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:33 pm

Postby bestcoast » Fri Nov 12, 2004 2:27 pm

What's the difference between a pig and a firefighter??

A pig doesn't turn into a firefighter after a few drink's!!!!!

:D ;) :D

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wilderness
Posts: 2212
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm

Postby wilderness » Tue Dec 14, 2004 4:43 pm

This lady goes into the Vets and and tells the Vet ,i think my pet duck is dead.....
he askes her to place the duck on the examination table and proceeds with the examination, after a few minutes he says Miss, i,m afraid your duck is indeed deceased......
Are you sure, that he is dead......
The vet then whisles and this big black lab runs into the room and sniff the duck all over, and proceeds to push it all over the table, then gets down and walks into the back room and lays down........ Miss i'm afraid he is dead, are you sure. she asked. so the vet gets his assitant to go into the back room... and she brings out this white cat and places it on the table, the cat rubs its head over the ducks body and then jumps down and walks into its pen and curls up and goes to sleep. Miss i,m afraid the duck is no longer with us........ Oh OUR poor family how will we cope with our loss.... after a few minutes she asked how much she owes for his services.... $310.00 dollars the vet says, $310.00 thats alot of money she says well Miss it would have been $10.00 but you asked for a LAB report and a Cat scan......


LA LA LA MONKEY MONKEY MONKEY....... BOO

[align=center:2jsip9q8]Lets Be damned Sure[/size:2jsip9q8][/align:2jsip9q8]
[align=center:2jsip9q8]That No Man's Ghost[/size:2jsip9q8][/align:2jsip9q8]
[align=center:2jsip9q8]Will Ever Say[/size:2jsip9q8][/align:2jsip9q8]
[align=center:2jsip9q8][color=red:2jsip9q8]"If Your Training Program[/color:2jsip9q8][/size:2jsip9q8][/align:2jsip9q8]
[align=center:2jsip9q8][color=red:2jsip9q8]Had Only Done It's Job"[/color:2jsip9q8][/size:2jsip9q8][/align:2jsip9q8]



bfrd22
Posts: 104
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:33 pm

Postby bfrd22 » Wed Dec 15, 2004 2:35 pm

Bwwaaahahahah, Lab report and cat scan. I think I scalded my nose blowing out hot coffee! :D :p :D
If it ain't broke.....Give it to a Fireman for a while.
Never be afraid to call out for more chrome. If you can't put it out, Scare it out.

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Michael13
Posts: 936
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm

Postby Michael13 » Wed Dec 15, 2004 10:50 pm

I guess all MY jokes were offensive. Sorry

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wilderness
Posts: 2212
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm

Postby wilderness » Thu Dec 16, 2004 8:02 am

did the big guy say something... i see nothing wrong with poking fun at ourselves

[align=center:2jsip9q8]Lets Be damned Sure[/size:2jsip9q8][/align:2jsip9q8]
[align=center:2jsip9q8]That No Man's Ghost[/size:2jsip9q8][/align:2jsip9q8]
[align=center:2jsip9q8]Will Ever Say[/size:2jsip9q8][/align:2jsip9q8]
[align=center:2jsip9q8][color=red:2jsip9q8]"If Your Training Program[/color:2jsip9q8][/size:2jsip9q8][/align:2jsip9q8]
[align=center:2jsip9q8][color=red:2jsip9q8]Had Only Done It's Job"[/color:2jsip9q8][/size:2jsip9q8][/align:2jsip9q8]



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wilderness
Posts: 2212
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm

Postby wilderness » Thu Dec 16, 2004 10:04 am

A Russian couple were walking down the street, in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop of rain hit his nose.
"I think it's raining," he said to his wife.....
"No, it felt more like snow to me," she replied
"No, I'm sure it was indeed rain," he said...

They were about to begin arguing with each other about whether it was raining or snowing, when they saw a Communist Party official walking towards them....

"Let's not argue about this." the man said. Let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's raining or snowing.

As the official approacjed the man said " tell us, Comrade Rudolph is it raining or snowing?....

It's indeed raining the Comrade said and continued on his walk, But the woman insisted, " I know that felt like snow!"

To which her husband quietly replied: Rudolph the red knows rain, Dear..............
Your morning graoner....tada.... :rolleyes:

[align=center:2jsip9q8]Lets Be damned Sure[/size:2jsip9q8][/align:2jsip9q8]
[align=center:2jsip9q8]That No Man's Ghost[/size:2jsip9q8][/align:2jsip9q8]
[align=center:2jsip9q8]Will Ever Say[/size:2jsip9q8][/align:2jsip9q8]
[align=center:2jsip9q8][color=red:2jsip9q8]"If Your Training Program[/color:2jsip9q8][/size:2jsip9q8][/align:2jsip9q8]
[align=center:2jsip9q8][color=red:2jsip9q8]Had Only Done It's Job"[/color:2jsip9q8][/size:2jsip9q8][/align:2jsip9q8]




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